My daughter and my grandson both work in the movie business and together we want to create a series, most likely called The Inn.  I am so tired of all the reality shows that are on now.  Boring people for the most part but I must confess I love Dancing with the Stars. I have already written one script about the Inn we used to run, but it is sort of old and was for a film. Our project  will be a funny, wonderful series full of great characters and genuine life at an inn.  As I look back, I laugh so much, and know sharing these experiences will be a great fun for everyone.  We have started gathering information. Most of all we will need a producer or producers.  The inn is up for auction now, where we want to film, and hopefully someone will buy it and let us film there. Or with a miracle we will be able to buy it.  It is still so beautiful and will be a great place for a production company in New Hampshire.  My dreams often come true, so we shall see. But if anyone wants to join us that would be wonderful.

Now for the work, the beginning, the story.

My old computer drives me a bit mad.  It is  Vista on it and we have not been friends since it was given to me, but seeing as I am using it so often during the day, I do tend to get frustrated. I like things to be simple so my thoughts can flow.

A very nice man I met thru Face Book helped me straighten it out but still things like the word program just doesn’t work like I wish it it would. I used to have one but I think it was Word Perfect.  So the only solution is to make a change.

My grandson has found a Mac that he thinks is perfect.  It has a huge monitor too.  I think to myself, do I need to spend the money?  This one works all right.   And then I think too, if so much of my day is spent here why shouldn’t it be the best it can be?   You know as you get older you get more careful spending money. You just “might” need it later.  I am also understanding that there is “now” now and why not make it the best I can.

So today he is going to put together what I will need and order it for me.  I am so excited.  I know there will be a learning curve.  I had a Mac, or was it an Apple,  thirty years ago?   At that time there were more programs for the PC so I ended up with those all the time.  I can’t wait to sort of start over and let my brain and memory and hopefully my talent go wild.   It feels like I have to have a big field to run in , like wild horses have.  It will give me more energy and ideas.  I do like living in the moment but I also love living the new things that come into my life.

There will be much more later.

At 76 I am learning to do what needs to be done, make a list for what I want to get done, and do what I can.  After a life of accomplishing so much, (read my book, Hairdresser to the Stars) I have to continue to be aware that I have done enough for a couple of lifetimes.  When I read my own bio, I get tired.  It was fun at the time and actually natural for me.  People give me energy, and communication is my treasure.

My granddaughter arrived late afternoon and we went out for fabulous eggplant parm and then to a dollar wine tasting. I was dragging but it was so much fun.  Then a young fellow my granddaughter met in Spain came to visit. What a delight.  

The simple life it perfect for me now.  My daughter says I am a Princess.  I have to agree people are so good to me. My husband especially was always there when I needed assistance, even more than necessary some times.  Now random people I meet still do great and sweet things for me.  My neighbor brought me a bag of perfect plums before she left for her vacation. When I first moved in I found a boquet of flowers on the little table in the front yard when I came home one day. 

Seeing as this is the beginning of summer, I assume I will have to learn to be slower and slower.  Plan to shop or go out early and come home when the heat rises, water the garden in the evening. I have so many great books to read, love to watch CNN.   I do a lot of praying for good outcomes. I know I am crazy but I love commercials too. I study them to see if they really do a good job selling what they are supposed to. 

I am writing  a series,with my daughter and grandson, I have so many stories for that.    All can be done in small steps.  Life is good.

The earthquake at the beginning of the year devestated the country and we all sent donations to rebuild and repair and food and medical supplies.  It is now six months later and  it looks like so little has been done.  The money has not come or it is said to be for the future.  I say that is a lot of BS.   The NGOs are not sharing information, the big egos not willing to work for the good of the people.  The tents are everywhere and a hurricane could wipe them out.  One storm has shown us what can happen already.

Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta are wonderful, reporting and I can sense the true frustration within both of them at the conditions.  I understand  it is a country that has never has been able to do the impossible. That is except for their strength in just staying alive. Now is the time to make the future open for them.  Let’s undo the knots and start to give their lives back better than before. Things happen slowly in hot countries, but this is not right.

I feel very happy that the people I have donated to have used all their money.   Doctors without Borders, Partners in Health and Beat the Rain (Sean Penn’s village work)  I sensed they would do what they promised.  It is hard to think of donating to Haiti because of the blockage of the goods to the people.  I hope that the latest news will make a difference and open the doors to the rebuilding and health of Haiti. I am disappointed in the Red Cross and the excuses they have. Yes there are certain monies for certain things, but this is crazy now.

Write to Clinton and anyone you can.  You can adopt a family down there if you are capable.  So much good can be done, it nobody worries about the credit.  Lets show the Haitians this can work.

After listening for an hour I realized how romantic those times were in the music field. It was so wonderful to be on the dance floor, in the arms of  a lovely partner, who you thought was attractive.  It was so easy to fall in love.  In those days we didn’t fall into bed so quickly. We took time to get to know one another and dancing was certainly a way to feel close.  I can still remember what a great dancer my husband was.  He was so pleased when
Gregory Hines complimented him on his dancing. Of course that was a little faster dancing. The composers photos come up with the songs and so many of them do look romantic. What talent they had.  They are still entertaining us even tho most of them are gone now.

When we were in the Bahamas working on Day of the Dolphin, we went out most nights and drank Goombay Smashes and danced the lively dances with the locals, but when a slow dance came we rushed to our husbands arms.

It is so nice to still have those memories and feelings.  I don’t think I can really dance anymore but I did. Only one desire was never satisfied.

That was to waltz in a huge ballroom Not that I could even waltz, but I imagined waltzing all around the floor and still do in my mind.

Just like the memory of the Chocolate Rum cake.  There was a lady on Pico Blvd. right near where we lived who had a bakery.
All she baked were those wonderful moist Rum cakes.  She was unforgettable with her cigarette hanging out of her mouth.  We never wanted to upset her, we sort of knew the consequences would not be pretty.   But oh her cakes were perfect. I wonder if anyone still makes those.  I remember Edith my step mother used to make fruit cakes with almond paste and pour rum over them for two months before Christmas. But even those were not as good as the Chocolate Rum Cakes.  Was it Frieda Schroder?  I think that was the name of the baker. I don’t even need a whole cake, although I would love to share it with others if possible.

Maybe if I visualize the cake will show up.

What I love about these classes is that I remember how He wants us to learn all about ourselves and our ego and to remember that we are Happy. It is like unlearning what we think we know, and then we realize we are happy.

I realize that being a Vital, my pattern has been to be busy, excited, creative, moving all the time.  The other patterns are the Peculiar and the Solid personality.  Being a Vital has made for an amazing life so full of adventure and excitement.  But now at 76 it is time to examine my pattern and to become quiet and balanced.  I am learning that I don’t have to be doing something.  I understand that my pattern was to be always in some sort of motion.  And if I haven’t really got it, I notice that my body gives out and makes sure I sit still.  That is hard so much of the time, but I have to admit I never paid attention before.  My life has been a wonderful distraction from the true pain of living and loving and losing people I love.   I give thanks for all the people who have come into my life with a variety of lessons.  Mostly they have brought gifts.  My husband, my daughters, my relatives, my grandchildren, my pets, my friends and my acquaintances all brought me something. I never go untouched when someone enters my life.

I also know that in my own my way I have touched so many others, had an impact on them. I look back now and wonder if my husband Pat might have been happier staying in California with a nice house, a nice big car and and a nice bank account. Instead I took him on adventures and he went because he loved me and wanted me to be happy.  Sometimes he would note that his coworkers had much more materially, and I would remind him he had all his treasure in his head and heart.   My children had a crazy life, moving so many places, but they are great people and able to deal with most anything that comes up.  My niece who is four years older came to visit this weekend and we talked about our family.  My father married five times, my half brother married eight times.  My great grandfather married three times and had seventeen children in Mississippi.  So I guess I came by my odd  ways naturally.  Each of my sisters have had a rather unusual life too.  We are doing a family tree now and there are more to get to know.

I went to a counselor for the partially sighted about having the loss of one eye and complaining that I had so little energy. She is blind and said, oh you do have energy, I can hear it.  She is right. I still get excited when getting to know people. I get excited each morning when I get up and the sun comes through my window and I get to sit down with my wonderful cup of fresh ground coffee with hot milk.  When I watch the news in the morning I feel that perhaps my witnessing may help problems get solved.  Who knows?

So this person, this Vital with a touch of Peculiar is learning to disrupt my automatic pattern and discover the real person beneath all the rest.  I talked with my daughter in law who has a friend who has a husband who disappeared recently. She said he had failed to live up to all his expectations and had run away.   I don’t think that works.  We have to deal sometime.  I guess that is called paying the piper. I suppose that is why we slow down as we age.  I am happy that I have kept journals for over forty years and also have written down stories and all so I can reread and remember. It is as though I am reading about someone else at times.  It is fun and I am happy I have lived the life I have. No regrets, except I might have walked a little more.

When I realized I had to take my life back in my hands, after talking with the counselor from the partially sighted clinic, I knew I needed to move. I never meant my daughter to take care of me, but she had for over a year.

I thought about where I might want to live. The beach was too expensive, and parking to complicated,  I didn’t want to live in the valley again.  so where?  It dawned on me, I had always wanted to live in Ojai, but it was too far if I worked in LA.  Now I could. And of course the way my life works, I looked on the internet and there was a little two bedroom, two bath in Meiner’s Oaks, the older part of Ojai.  I rented, it.  My daughter got everything together for a household. She loves doing that and by April 3 I was moved in.  Like Magic.  All sorts of help, and a couple of days later my grandson and his girl came and put my books away hung pictures and did all the little things. I am so lucky.  It looks like I have always been here.

I did need my own space, my dog Ramsey loves having a yard. We can see the mountains, have lots of oak trees round and nice neighbors.  I hope I never have to move again.   There will be more, but for the moment I wanted to get started writing again.  So happy here. It is a most spiritual place. Krishnamurti has a center here.  But there is much more.  Just feels good.

People who love this country can change it.  And they have today.l  Obama signed the Health Care Bill.

It is a core principle that everyone should have some security for their health care. How can we not celebrate. Those who want to stop and over turn this bill have no compassion, no caring about the big picture of our country, they are selfish and offered no support or help to the American people.  They were more concerned about making our fantastic president look bad.  Well it didn’t work, thanks to those who believe in what is right.  I am so excited and feel like I want to be a part of our country again.  When we moved to Mexico it was very much because we hated what the government was like in 2007.  The hatred and fear was too much.  I am very sorry my husband did not live to see this day.  He would have been so happy.  When I first met him , he voted Republican, because that was what rich people did.  His parents were always Democrats.  When I first voted Democrat, he thought I didn’t love him.  But after a few years of living with me and our family he realized that the right had so little compassion. He was very generous and it hurt him to see others suffering.  So he joined me.  Watching our President smile and shake hands and give hugs this morning was wonderful. He set the example for our youth that we have to do what is right and stick by that, not be shaken by doubt and fear.  That is what I always thought the President should do. Set an example.  He did. And also a woman, Nancy Pelosi, did too.  She got it done where the men were ready to give up.  They say if you want something done, ask a woman. Well we did and she did.

For all those who say it will cost too much.  It has been proven it will save money.  On the other hand, why it is okay to go to unnecessary wars and spend money on that while our own people suffer? I have never seen the sense of that. We help so many in the world it is time to support our own. It will make us stronger and we can be proud.  I am.  I don’t want to apologize for America.  I want it to live up to the great potential we have.  I think  some people forget this in their own selfish ego minds.

For anyone who says this is too much big government, let them give up their Medicare, Social Security, Unemployment and roads and parks and more and more.   We are the government and when we get in and work with government we have a say.  I have run twice for office.  I didn’t win, but at least I put forth some effort. We have to be involved and study and support those who are unable so they can become educated instead of frightened.

With today’s sound bite society people only hear small things, and those are often filled with fear. We have to slow down, investigate the whole story and remember we are a whole society, all sizes, colors, species an we are all affected by each other.  Obama has made the final step in giving our country the tools to grow strong today. It is not the military but the people, healthy, educated and happy that are strong.

This is from Obama.

I’m writing to you on a great day for America.

This morning, I gathered with members of Congress, my administration, and hardworking volunteers from every part of the country to sign comprehensive health care reform into law. Thanks to the immeasurable efforts of so many, the dream of reform is now a reality.

The bill I just signed puts Americans in charge of our own health care by enacting three key changes:

It establishes the toughest patient protections in history.

It guarantees all Americans affordable health insurance options, extending coverage to 32 million who are currently uninsured.

And it reduces the cost of care — cutting over 1 trillion dollars from the federal deficit over the next two decades.

To ensure a successful, stable transition, many of these changes will phase into full effect over the next several years.

But for millions of Americans, many of the benefits of reform will begin this year — some even taking effect this afternoon. Here are just a few examples:

Small businesses will receive significant tax cuts, this year, to help them afford health coverage for all their employees.

Seniors will receive a rebate to reduce drug costs not yet covered under Medicare.

Young people will be allowed coverage under their parents’ plan until the age of 26.

Early retirees will receive help to reduce premium costs.

Children will be protected against discrimination on the basis of medical history.

Uninsured Americans with pre-existing conditions can join a special high-risk pool to get the coverage they need, starting in just 90 days.

Insured Americans will be protected from seeing their insurance revoked when they get sick, or facing restrictive annual limits on the care they receive.

All Americans will benefit from significant new investments to train primary care doctors, nurses, and public health professionals, and the creation of state-level consumer assistance programs to help all patients understand and defend our new rights.

As I’ve said many times, and as I know to be true, this astounding victory could not have been achieved without your tireless efforts.

So as we celebrate this great day, I want to invite you to add your name where it belongs: alongside mine as a co-signer of this historic legislation. Organizing for America will record the names of co-signers as a permanent commemoration of those who came together to make this moment possible — all of you who refused to give up until the dream of many generations for affordable, quality care for all Americans was finally fulfilled.

So, if you haven’t yet, please add your name as a proud health care reform co-signer today:

http://my.barackobama.com/cosigner

Please accept my thanks for your voice, for your courage, and for your indispensable partnership in the great work of creating change.

History, and I, are in your debt.

President Barack Obama

]]> http://www.flyingintothesun.com/health-care-passes-signed-day/feed 0 http://www.flyingintothesun.com/eye-experience http://www.flyingintothesun.com/eye-experience#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 23:55:06 +0000 Ginger Blymyer http://www.flyingintothesun.com/?p=431 After four surgeries on the retina of  my right eye, I have come to the conclusion, I may never really see out of it again.  I do have one good eye left. But the loss of one is confusing and tiring and takes away confidence.  I see blurs, sort of ink blot like images. There is still a silicon bubble behind the retina.  My doctor feel I may regain some sight. I am not counting on it.  If I do that will be fabulous.

What has followed all the surgeries, which were one a month, is a lack of confidence.  I think  it was too much to ask of one little eye to endure all this.  The eyelid droops so much.  Now it has risen a little.

The lack of confidence comes because all the flat surfaces seem to slant downward and so much of what I set on them, rolls off. As do my clothes I hang on hooks.  I don’t see details, when I wash dishes but did I ever.  I am not sure of what I am missing any more.

Then I see Stevie Wonder and so many more people who see nothing at all and I realize I am a wuss. Maybe not a wuss but confused about what is true, what will change and what will now continue.

They are capable of medically repairing so much of our bodies now.  Is is the best thing for us? Was the dim sight I had before the operations better for me? I was used to it.  I guess life hands you things you actually can deal with. I just need patience and to take my time.  Wish me luck.

I feel like the windows of my life are open again and it is amazing what happens as one reads the book.  I began to answer the questions and suddenly things have began to move in my life again. I love where she describes why pirates used to wear eye patches over one eye so they could see in the darkness and the light.   My right eye has lost much sight and I have a photo of me with my patch. I have a hunch that the patch is an important symbol of how I must live the rest of my life.  I received an amazing photo of the sunset over Lake Chapala and looking at that all orange and black and powerful that I wanted to put the caption under that photo that says. ” If this is the sunset of my life, this is how I want it to look.”

I think I am back.   I am not seeing a hundred percent, I am slow, my body hurts and I have little endurance, but that really doesn’t matter, I still can live fully and create wonderful experiences.

I am grateful for the year I have taken off after my husband died. I think that is important to just let things come up and to feel deeply after such a loss.  Along with my husband my Teacher Adi Da Samraj,  Who passed six weeks before,  I realized that I no longer had anything to fear, but I still needed to heal and that takes time and patience.  I have given myself that gift. My life is full and as I turn 76 this year I am happy and appreciate what I have learned and will learn from this time on earth.

I worked with Natalie for seventeen years. See my book Hairdresser to the Stars, A Hollywood Memoir.  She is on the cover.  She gave me my career in film and was also a friend.  She supported all her friends and has not been able to defend her truth. Now it is done.   She remains in my heart and I am so happy to see that she is finally being given a truth for us to understand. Read the book.  There will be a paperback soon and it includes more information.  Funny how after so long people are able to open.  The truth always comes to light.  Thank Goodness.

They set a terrible example for our kids,  doing “anything” to win.  To win for the Republicans,  is to make the President fail.  It is the party of No.  There was not a chance they would vote for the Health bill and I still wonder why the President was so polite in trying to work with them.  Probably because he didn’t want to look like a bully.  I hope those pale Demos will learn to care about the people and not devote all their brains to getting reelected.  I would ask someone running for election now if they would vote for something important even if they might not get reelected.

The health bill will pass. I am so happy to see the President finally step up to the plate and use his power and his intelligence and now his passion.  Hurrah for Obama!!!  Keep it up on all the bills.

Somehow I feel my attention may make a small difference and connect to some and alert some others.

It would be easy to turn off the television, send in a donation and not put myself through the pain of

seeing people suffer, being unable to do anything.  I want to hold the babies, put the heads of the suffering

in my lap to do any comforting I can.  I cannot look away.  My heart breaks when I see the babies and wish I

take them all home with me.  I have been in tears ever since this happened. I hope you are too.

What good  can come of this?  I always believe that no matter how terrible things are there is another side

and here I think it is very obvious.  Haiti can be rebuilt in a way that benefits the people, takes away the

awful political system that has crippled it and now the whole world has seen Haiti.  We must keep our eyes

on Haiti and not look away but insist that after two hundred years of suffering things will change for the better.

I feel good about Clinton and Bush working on this. They have to prove that they can succeed. They always do.

I am sure that we must be careful to let the Haitians keep their identity and spiritual beliefs.  We cannot impose

our strength on them.  We must give support and inspiration and money and all we can to make life the

best it can be for them.  We must continue to witness Haiti.  We must visualize their success and new way

of life in spite of all the tragedy.

hellish.   This earthquake seems to have been the worst tragedy of all.  So many people dead, injured, and homeless.

First of all we must pray for the rush of the supplies to get to the people.  It is unimaginable how the supplies are at the

airport, yet the road so damaged that it can not get to the people. Hopefully at this moment the helicopters are unloading

and able to bring supplies. This common humanity that we share has to be devastating everyone in the whole world.

So many need assistance and I pray that it comes quickly now.  Watching the people walk and sing is amazing. How

strong they are.  And the people who have gone to help are wonderful.  So many that it is amazing.  For those of us

at home we can offer money and that is coming now.  Thank goodness.

What I want to visualize is a new city with buildings made in the fashion that won’t fall in another earthquake, a place

where the Haitians can raise their living level from poverty, where the education can rise and where their self esteem will rise and

continue to go in that direction.

Years ago I was in the Dominican Republic and bought paintings from Haiti.  It amazed me how full of life and color and

happiness they were.  How could such poor people create this kind of art, I wondered?  Everytime I looked at those paintings

I was filled with wonder and joy and gave thanks for their spirit.  I believe this will carry them through in the most immense hardship

possible.

I call everyone to keep praying, supporting and visualizing a positive outcome for this country.  I pray that the government

will be recreated in a manner that truly serves all the people.  That will be the real miracle.  We are all one people.

Usually I have so many things to think and write about but anesthesia dies something to my brain and it takes time to recover. I want to be excited about things again.  I want to make a difference in our world.   Writing is the best way for me to do this.

We have an epidemic of overweight children in our country and in many parts of the world.  How did this happen.  How can we prevent this and help with what has happened.   I am feeling that children should be taught to read labels as young as possible. My grandson learned in Boy Scouts.  They can learn about the value of exercise and we can demand the kids get recess.  There is so much to do and this is only a beginning.  Hope you will share some ideas.  Thanks

I haven’t done much here, because my right eye is under siege. The retina keeps detatching and there seems to be an autoimmune reaction there even though there doesn’t seem to be an infection.  I have had three eye surgeies and I hope this third one is the charm.  All of this has kept me from being creative and writing here.  I always feel that anesthesia does affect my mind for a while after a surgery.  The strange thing about an eye operration is that you are awake while they operate.  It is so strange to hear all that goes on.  At the end of the last one the surgeon remarked to his assistant that “that was about as bad as it gets.”  Not too reassuring but hopefully they did it right. Fortunately I have one good eye. It is amazing how much one eye can see.  But then the other one gives me light shows, all sorts of strange thing.  There is still some silicone behind the retina to hold it into place while it heals.  Amzaing whe they can do now and they are always learning.  I am learning to be patient.

Why do people do good things? Is kindness hardwired into the brain, or does this tendency arise via experience? Dacher Keltner, director of the Social Interaction Laboratory at the University of California, Berkeley, investigates these questions from multiple angles and often generates results that are both surprising and challenging. In his recent book, Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life (W. W. Norton, 2009), Keltner weaves together scientific findings with personal narrative to uncover human emotion’s innate power to connect people with one another, which he argues is the path to living the good life. Here Keltner discusses altruism, neurobiology and the practical applications of his findings with David DiSalvo.
SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN MIND: What, in a nutshell, does the term “born to be good” mean to you?
DACHER KELTNER: “Born to be good” means that our mammalian and hominid evolution has crafted a species—us—with remarkable tendencies toward kindness, play, generosity, reverence and self-sacrifice, which are vital to the classic tasks of evolution—survival, gene replication and smoothly functioning groups. These tendencies are felt in the wonderful realm of emotion—feelings such as compassion, gratitude, awe, embarrassment and mirth. Recent studies have revealed that our capacity for caring, play, reverence and modesty is built into our brains, bodies, genes and social practices.
MIND: One of the structures in our body that seems especially adapted to promote altruism is the vagus nerve, as your team at U.C. Berkeley has found. Tell us a bit about this research and its implications.
KELTNER: The vagus nerve is a bundle of nerves that originates in the top of the spinal cord. It activates different organs throughout the body (such as the heart, lungs, liver and digestive organs). When active, it is likely to produce that feeling of warm expansion in the chest—for example, when we are moved by someone’s goodness or when we appreciate a beautiful piece of music. Neuroscientist Stephen W. Porges of the University of Illinois at Chicago long ago argued that the vagus nerve is [the nerve of compassion] (of course, it serves many other functions as well). Several reasons justify this claim. The vagus nerve is thought to stimulate certain muscles in the vocal chamber, enabling communication. It reduces heart rate. Very new science suggests that it may be closely connected to receptor networks for oxytocin, a neurotransmitter involved in trust and maternal bonding.
Our research and that of other scientists suggest that activation of the vagus nerve is associated with feelings of caretaking and the ethical intuition that humans from different social groups (even adversarial ones) share a common humanity. People who have high vagus nerve activation in a resting state, we have found, are prone to feeling emotions that promote altruism—compassion, gratitude, love and happiness. Arizona State University psychologist Nancy Eisenberg has found that children with high-baseline vagus nerve activity are more cooperative and likely to give. This area of study is the beginning of a fascinating new argument about altruism: that a branch of our nervous system evolved to support such behavior.
MIND: Often when we learn about this type of intriguing academic work being done on emotions, morality and related areas, we are left asking, “Is there anything we can make actual use of here?” As you look down the road, what do you want the impact of your work to be out in the world?
KELTNER: In summarizing the new science of emotion in Born to Be Good, I was struck by how useful it is. Recent research is suggesting that our capacities for virtue and cooperation and our moral sense are old in evolutionary terms, and these capacities are found in the emotions I write about.

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To be truthful, I am just curious.  I see people having such trouble with relationships, trying to do the right things with and for their families, trying to be beautiful, in good shape, drive the right car, live in the right place.  I see the stress in their bodies and faces. I am not sure they are enjoying life as much as we did.  I am sure it is the fast world we live in right now.  My  partner  and I chose to live at our own speed when we could and that was not to rush.  But before that with raising three young daughters, working and running our home and our relationships it must have been faster, now that I think of it.  I cannot remember a lot of how it was done.  There were good times and difficult ones, but mostly I remember the good ones, there were more of them.  Our lives were always changing due to the fact of working in the movie business and never knowing where our work would take us and when and for how long.  That was exciting. I loved change.  I didn’t need security, I always trusted the universe. The universe always provided too. I guess I grocery shopped and all that and paid the bills and planned for the kids things.  When I worked I put in long hours and was exhausted by the weekend.  Yet everything seemed to get done and the house looked nice and the kids grew up just fine and independent and healthy.  I was happy on my own when I needed to be.  How did it all happen?  I guess I’ll read my bio and find out.  Always something new to discover.

He points out that he can afford to pay for his fathers needs, even then there are many things that should not be done, or done differently.

One  point stood out and that was the idea of having tests done so the doctor doesn’t need to get to know the patient or listen to symptoms if they have the test done. That appears to be enough.  I have felt this since I came to Los Angeles.  My doctor, an internist,  is a nice guy, pleasant, in and out and efficient and he has no idea who I am or how I feel.  He checks the tests and when I question him about something he retorts that he went to medical school to learn to sort things out.  Do I want to ask anything else?  Sure I do.

My rheumatologist gave me Symbalta for circulation and said it might help depression. She knew I had lost my husband recently when I first went to her.  When I told my internist the Symbalta made me nauceous he said “too bad” .  I am not sure what he meant. He never had time to find out how I felt, or that I had a major reason to be sad, or depressed for a while after my loss.  He figured the medication would be good.  After all it says it helps some things. Yet for me the side effects were horrible.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have the doctors seem to be in too much of a hurry, to actually get to know their patients.  Keith is right though, about how relieved he is that he can pay for major pain relief for his father. What happens when you cannot pay.  It is unspeakable how one must suffer. I used to live in New Hampshire and had the same wonderful doctor for twenty five years.  In Mexico the doctors take time and talk to you.  What is wrong in this country that we have forgotten how to do this?

I was talking to my daughter, who happens not to have insurance, and is looking for something reasonable because it is not supplied at work.  She tends to be very healthy, eats well, has never been over weight, nor has she smoked, or drink a lot.  She asked why should she have to pay more because people don’t take care of themselves.  Then on CNN one commentator said a phrase that hit home.

“Crap behavior is not an American Right.”  That needs to be said over and over.  People know smoking will kill most who do it.  If we drink too much our livers give out.  Many of us have been brought up in families that have no idea of how to eat healthy, perhaps by choice or ignorance or culture.  I believe that the eating behavior will be the most difficult to change.
We here in America have so many choices for bad food.  It tastes good, is fast and easily available.   We in this country are in too much of a hurry.  We don’t spend time enjoying our food, either cooking or eating for the most part.  In so many countries eating meals is a social time and we have forgotten this with our style of fast hurried life.

I for one, have always been overweight.  I have never smoked, I don’t drink much, an occasional glass of red wine which is supposed to be good for you, but I love sweets.  I have studied everything, know all the tricks, am a great cook.  But still I tend to often go for the easiest food, or the goodies that are available.  Fortunately I have been healthy most of my life.  At seventy five osteoarthritis is my biggest challenge. I used to work hard, in the garden, at work as a hairstylist but never, has exercise for exercise sake, made me feel good.   I always was happy to do something which made a difference in the yard, or house or things like that.  Maybe an occasional walk through  the forest or  on the beach during a vacation.  Now I do take pain pills for the arthritis, and vitamins and blood pressure and a statin.  Less is better but some of this is preventive for things that come with age or inheritance.

So how do we judge what is true “crap” behavior?   If our parents raised us to be heavy because they were, is that our fault? It is not easy to change our ways, goodness knows.  I just met a young man who has lost forty pounds, partly eating at Salad Creations where my daughter works.  I asked him if his mother liked him heavy and he said “Yes, she calls me her Teddy Bear.”  Now who is at fault there? I told him to get Wayne Dyers “No Excuses”.  We can make changes from what we have been taught in childhood. Dyer says we have memes we can change.  There must be an incentive. We have to have support.  There are always too many choices out there to tempt us.  I believe we come loving sweets for the most part.  Fortunate are those who are not that way.  Self control is wonderful, but when we are tired, hurried, worried, tense, we reach for comfort.  What is the substitute for that comfort?

I have a spiritual study and try to live that life to my best, but I see how I don’t make the right food decisions and I have more help than most.  How do we solve this problem?  Maybe that is the biggest question.  Maybe congress can figure out how we can go for the good stuff and keep ourselves as healthy and well as possible.  But then so many lately have not set a very good example in their own lives .

Can we bring ourselves to begin to turn around and cut out the crap behavior. What will inspire us to do this.  I would love to know the answer.

I have studied Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, looked though a collection of pictures for inspiration in my art class tomorrow, eaten now and then.  Just finished a big piece of chocolate cake from my daughter’s birthday and am watching “National Parks:US’s Best Idea.  I recorded it when it was shown.  It is fabulous and I am learning so much.

Secretly I am awaiting the mail so I can watch my next installment of McLeod’s Daughters. I am hooked on this Australian series.  I love the characters, the scenery and the stories are pretty nice too.  It has lots of shows, unlike my favorite here “Weeds” which only had five or six this season.

My friend doesn’t like the rain, she prefers it to be sunny all the time, but I reminded her how important it is. It hasn’t rained since I came here in February. That is downright strange.  Unhealthy.  She wants Camolot, you know rain at night only waking up to a fresh day. That is not all bad either.

I was reading a blog called Shot of Coffee and the author says he writes every day on his blog and that sounded like the way it should be so I decided that even if I don’t have what I consider a profound thought, I should still sit down and write anyway. So I have.

Life changed and I did not have a choice about where I was going to live.  The beach sounded quite inviting. My daughter offered to share her apartment. She had an extra bedroom and I could share expenses which is helpful in a recession.

First of all I downsized from a four story house in New England and I moved to Mexico.  In Mexico I had a huge rented house, three bedrooms and three marble baths, a huge yard and lots of room.

At this moment I have one good sized room of my own.  That part is good. I have simplified my life, my wants and needs. I certainly save money because I don’t need to buy anything, my room is full of my favorite things and I need little more.

This apartment is very nice and our  apartment neighbors friendly.

The next door  neighbors are “something else”.

The beach has always been prime property. After all there is only so much of the coastline.   When I was growing up, there were wonderful little funky cottages along the beach areas and of course some very nice, very large homes too.   I even lived in one at age three.  It worked, and you could get a view of the beach in many areas.  Actually I have always held the thought that nobody should be able to build directly on the beach and obstruct the view, but that never happened.  I believe views should be free and available to all.

Back to Hermosa.  California is known for the growth in Real Estate and the recent boom has brought the beach towns to their feet and suffocated the free feeling of the beach.  Where there used to be character in the homes there is little left. What has replaced that are the huge three story condos built on the same lot that accommodated one family.  The buildings fill the lots corner to corner.  I cannot say I have seen a condo or new apartment with any character, or real beauty.  It is just a building with the most for the money.  Of course the prices are through the roof.  Since the recession the prices may have fallen a little, but the beach property is at such a premium that prices are still over the roof in my opinion.  There are no animals allowed on the beach sand.  You can walk them on the Strand.

That sort of bums me but it is not what really drives me crazy.

It is the neighbors who seem to live in my bedroom.   I never wanted to live that close to anyone. Next door is a three story rental.   The rent is very expensive so the tenants change often.  The amazing thing is how much I hear about the daily life that goes on over there.  I close my window, but that only cuts out a little.  I can turn my television on a bit louder but that imposes on anyone in the apartment.  I don’t see any answer.  People shrug it off and say, “It’s the beach.”  If it gets too late and too bad the police get called, and things usually calm down.

What I am talking about is the intimate life I hear.  I am not sure where the kitchen is, but I hear everything that goes on there; even the garlic being chopped.  It is amazing. I am sure they have heavy pottery plates because of the sound.  I hear the dryer clicking early in the mornings.  The garbage disposal grinds at times.  I hear about the pancakes and that they need more batter.  It amazes me.

I don’t think they are talking loud, just normally.  But it carries right up to me.

When the weird tenants come, it gets worse. The other night some guys were so loud they woke me out of a sound sleep with the main word in their conversation being “muthafkr”  Wow !  “I just got out of the rehab and look what you guys have done to this place!”  Over and over that conversation ensued, with “muthafkr” being every other word.  I wondered how many of the crowd had been in rehab or worse, but I was not going over to find out.  In a way they fascinated me.  What else did they ever talk about?   Was their vocabulary so limited. The next day I saw a couple of Spanish speaking guys in the garage and started to tell them I didn’t appreciate that sort of thing, but they were not the guilty ones.  Those guys had moved out, the place was too small they said. Thank goodness.  (I do speak Spanish so we conversed.)

Usually there are some young dudes and maybe girls show up and help cook and spend the evening at a party or just a group.  Last week some fellow felt impelled to share, “She had great tits. I enjoyed them and then she got weird.” I tried to picture the situation.  The conversation didn’t last long, they all went out. After all this is known as a party town.  In my imagination I have a cast of characters that live there.  I figure they have to have pretty good jobs to afford the place.  Mostly young, tan guys with six packs and a strong drive to drink and have sex as often as possible.  There used to be a cute young blonde girl there who wore her low cut jeans with her bright pink thong lining her lovely pink butt cheeks.  She was friendly.  I think she kept house for the guys there at the time.

A new neighbor rented the cottage in the back.  She is a young woman with two large dogs.  She described the newest neighbors moving in eighteen beds. No other furniture has arrived.  What do they plan to do, run a boarding house?  We shall see I am sure.

Our  own landlord is  great person, who owns our apartment.   He always has cookies for our doggies.  We can decorate for holidays, work in the garden and mostly he appreciates whatever anyone does.  My daughter  cleans and plants and keeps the exterior in nice order. She has made the place prettier and more social with chairs along the sidewalk in a little patio area.  There is a portable little fence so doggies can enjoy the outdoors.  There is so little open space in Hermosa  the dogs to be happy with sidewalk and umbrella shade.
The beach not available to animals; sad because they love to romp in the sand. We always pick up after our dogs.

I doubt that I shall live here for a long time, but it is truly a new experience for me.  It is never too late to learn even if it isn’t  quite wonderful.  The beach weather is nice though.

I truly believe we are all one in this world, and what harm I do to another I do to myself.  That may be too advanced at this moment. What is the answer?

So many ways to solve it come up, but what really works?    I think about it all the time.  There seem to be so many ways  but  I can’t do it all nor can I support everything.  I wish I could.  I have mentored. children in New Hampshire. That helped in some small ways. It was sort of like group therapy the way we ran it.  How can kids cope when they are angry.  They cannot solve their rage on their own.  They want to travel in packs.  How can we get them into good groups.  How can we deal with their anger.  First of all the local communities must take responsibility. Schools are not safe for children, they have so much violent peer pressure.  So much sexual pressure.  How can that change? How can we fill the idle time of children with positive time?    What kind of reward system can work?

On CNN the answer came.  Have you read Three Cups of Tea byGreg Mortenson?   It is a wonderful inspiring book.  Greg was speaking on CNN this morning.  He has built many schools in Afganistan.  He is fearless and dedicated. He began talking about how the young boys are recruited in Afganistan and Pakistan to be terrorists and there is a never ending supply of these children.  When people are poor, in need they will go with who ever is the strongest.  No secret there.

What has made a difference is educating children but most important educating the girls who grow into mothers.

Mothers keep their sons from joining the Talaban and other groups that destroy.  That is the truth.

What is the answer in Chicago? It is reflecting to us all.  What is the answer in any big city, or small for that matter?  The people don’t snitch, it is the code of the streets.   Education is the only answer that will make the changes needed.  Peace comes with education.

Mothers have influence over their families, their children and therefore over everything. We must focus on the education of women who live in the areas that have the biggest problems.

The statistics about the people in jail  say  mainly they are people without education. Mostly men and boys but they have mothers.

Education starts at home but also in school, church, neighborhoods.   A person without an education is vulnerable, alone,scared.

They want to belong to a group that will protect them.  What is more appealing than guys with guns, knives, intimidating

people in the hood?   In my opinion men and boys are more vulnerable to this appeal.  I have not heard of girl gangs.

The boys want to be strong, unafraid.  We all want to belong. Education opens so many doors for us.  We need to educate the

children to communicate in non violent ways.  They should not need to protect themselves.  They need places to go that are safe.

But those boys and men have mothers.  And I know that for the most part they always relate to what their mothers feel.  I

remember one actor coming to work  so worried. He had been picked up by the police for buying some dope and the first thing he worried

about was what his mother would think if she found out.  Wierd but true.

What we have to do is solve the problem of getting the women in the world educated.   They have influence everywhere. It may be subtle and we hear how they are treated as second class citizens.  It is not the truth, but in some countries men like it that way.  In many countries they don’t

get the chance for education.  I believe  women for the most part are born wise in many ways, but  they need to feel they are worthwhile

and to apply their intelligence to their families.  Boys equate violence with masculinity. TV has done a good job of that.

Education  is not an instant fix, but it is the  only way that will solve so many problems in our world.  The attitude and understanding of the

value of education for all women must be pursued.   Violence is not really masculine, it is a virus of the mind inherited from film and war and experience. It is not the truth.   We have to reeducate our youth. Education for everyone is important.

And for the rest of us. I believe we need to continue educating ourselves all our lives.  The older people have to set the example. We have to make education attractive to all.  When we look at little children they love to learn. Let’s teach them the right things so they can live a full happy life and learn to deal with adversity in a way that does not kill them.

protesting the insanity in Washington about the health care.   But oh I wish I could do more.   I still can feel and see and hear.

When I listen to the news about the Senate votes yesterday about the public option,  I wonder if the majority of senators are

deaf. dumb and blind. Dumb being the primary thing.  Nearly sixty five percent of the people in the United

States want the health care with the option for the government to compete.  Aren’t the law makers  supposed to work for us? I don’t think blocking things just so you can prove the president wrong is what they were elected to do.  I think it is insane.

Why are the senators saying they can’t vote for something because it might not pass in that condition? Why not

vote for  what needs to be done right away, now, instead of letting the Republicans who want it to fail, win?   It is time for the Democrats to wake up.

It is crazy.  Where are the backbones, the spines. What did we elect?  Jelly fish with college educations.  Obama is truly looking out for

us but if his party is so wishy washy, worried more about getting relected than taking care of us the pople, then

I feel our system is truly a failure.

These lawmakers  live on a different plane, in a different world than most of us here in the USA.  The  fearful virus’s of the mind which have

been spread by the crazies on Fox and others that rant and rave with lies, work with many who only listen to sound bites.  Even though

it would be great if we all studied the issue, sadly that won’t happen.  It amazes me how people tell lies, outright lies and get away with it.

I am also amazed that people don’t rebel about these lies. Even if I didn’t agree with someone I would not tell lies about them.  I don’t get it.

We do have to put forth the effort to keep the insurance for all alive, with a public option.The costs are outrageous and it is not right that we are the only country that doesn’t take care of our people.  Just because we voted for Obama doesn’t mean we don’t still need to put our energy and effort toward getting what we need for all.  Please do it in what ever way you can.  It will be good for everyone.

Let’s do this test and that.   Here is what it says and here is what we will do about what it says.  Take this pill,

it might prevent diabetes.  Your count is borderline.  We usually give it to people with diabetes, but I doubt that you are

going to do the things that will prevent it.  I agree and take the prescription.   Sounds easy.  But the truth is in a couple of

weeks the pill makes me nausceous and achy.   Same thing happened with another doctor. She said just try this sample. It

really made me feel awful.  I thought it was the colonoskpy that cause the nauseous feeling so the doctor gave me something

for my stomach.  He didn’t think that was what caused my problem but tried to help. I looked up the side effects on the web and it told me that it caused nausea.  Well well.   I called the  other doctorand asked about “side effects”.  He said he didn’t study them.  I was amazed.

When I lived in New Hampshire my osteopath told me she didn’t know for sure how some pills would affect me and wanted

me to carefully notice and let her know. I liked that honesty.

Now it is time for another checkup.  How can I make this work for both me and the doctor?

For the past few years I have kept a typewritten  record on my computer which I update.  It includes all the information

about my surgeries, my illness’s, my prescriptions and my vitamins.  Also the names of all my doctors who are presently

treating me.  In this modern world there is a specialist for everything.

My rheumatologist was delighted when I handed her the paper I had typed up for her. She could read it far better than the little scribbles we usually put on the form they give us to fill in.  She sat down and read it.    In less than a minute she knew far more about me than if I had tried to explain everything.

Now I have added something. which is all the questions I have had at times when I am not at the doctors.   I know the doctor will have no time for

my life story.  He hardly knows me. Last time he finished saying “I think we will get you into pretty good shape.”  I am not sure what that means

but it sounded good.  Since then I have had test after test.  He  found my pancreas was processing slowly.   That was the glucose tolerance test. My blood pressure is a little high but okay with the pills I now take.  My cholesterol was high and so I have been taking something for that. We shall see if it has improved since the last visit.

I sat down today and wrote  and tried to explain what has been going on in my life since I last saw him.  I have had major changes this year and time is healing, but my major concern is pain.  I can’t walk more than a couple of blocks, nor stand for long. The pain comes to my lower back, my knees and I tend to hold my breath and head toward home and my heating pad.

Is there a possibility that can change? I hope so.  My diet has not been so good.  My fault.  I was used to cooking for two and making imaginative meals. Now I cook for myself.  I am careless at times.

I used to be going here and there all the time. I volunteered at the library, SCORE, mentored, secretary for the Little White Church, reading clubs.  Then I moved to Mexico in 2007 and this February  I moved in with my daughter, after the loss of my husband. Since then  I have been quiet.  That is as it should be but now I realize I need to move more.  On my last visit the doctor cut down my thyroid medicine after checking on the test (which never seems to be right about thyroid) and I got slower and my long lost appetite returned.  Can’t burn much if I don’t move a little more. We need to talk.

I have written all the things that concern me,, even about the snippy nurse  who I tried to explain to about the thyroid.  I wonder how to put my medical records out electronically, and if he does use email, as I hope he does.   I will hand this to him when he comes into the room and hope he pays attention.  We need to have this at our fingertips at all times, like the living wills we need to make before it is too late.

I think we all need to recognize the doctors are sort of in a bind and for the most part cannot take time to get to know new patients. We have to make it as easy as possible to know as much as they can so they can treat us properly.  They do need to listen to us.  We are in this together and there are many ways to make life better for the patient and in turn the doctor too.

I hope if there are any suggestions, people will share them with me.

I choose to believe the doctor wants to cooperate with the patient.  I choose to believe we all need to be responsible for ourselves. The doctors have the education and the tools but we own the body.  If it doesn’t feel good don’t do it.  Don’t believe the doctor is always right. He or she might know a lot but we have to work together to keep ourselves in the best shape we can.